I was recently told that our stories are how we can help others. It inspired me to share a little more about my experience and story in writing. So here’s a little bit (or a long bit) about my experience and relationship with food and my current eating patterns.

Studying clinical nutrition and being a holistic health practitioner and personal trainer, I often get asked questions like “what do you eat?” or “how often do you workout?” and I used to get triggered by these questions...specifically the “what do you eat one.” I didn’t really know how to answer them…“do they really want me to list off everything I eat? Why do they care what I eat?”…I think part of this had to do with the insecurity I had around what I was eating not be “the right or perfect way to eat.” My current answer in short ~ what we eat is only a part of the puzzle and in all honesty, I pretty much eat whatever I want and I wish this was the case for more people.

After experiencing a not so great relationship with food and trying many different “diets” I now don’t follow a specific dietary pattern per se, rather I aim to create balance and moderation in my eating while prioritizing and naturally gravitating towards whole foods. I practice mindful and intuitive eating. I don’t count calories or macros (although there may be a time and place for this) or exercise to “burn off what I ate.” I don’t hold the belief of foods being bad or off limits, I more so am just aware of creating a balance and allowing myself to enjoy what we might think of as “unhealthy” foods like French fries, chocolate chip cookies or ice cream without overindulging. But don’t worry I get my fair share of them in :).

Its taken time and practice to create a healthier relationship with food and find what works well for me and my body. I will say that knowing the foundations of nutrition and the power of belief has helped me tremendously as well as continuing to trust in what my body needs wherever I am throughout the lifecycle.

I have found that my eating patterns and preferences tend to change with the seasons for example, I love smoothies in the summertime but rarely find myself having them in the winter even though I live in a warmer climate. In general, I also tend to eat more food in the colder months and less food in the warmer months. An approach that is similar to this states that food choices vary from day to day and across seasons and this is defined as the “total diet approach” (Brown, 2020, 2017).

I do my best to find presence when eating, although this may not always happen it is something I have improved on over time and I feel it helps me to slow down, improve digestion and brings more joy into eating. When I’m not eating with others I sometimes read, journal or watch a movie and other times I simply eat or have a candle lit and some music playing while staring into the space in front of me. And sometimes I eat in my car while driving to my next client or doing schoolwork. No, i’m not perfect. I aim to eat when I’m hungry and stop before I feel full yet satisfied. If I don’t feel like finishing everything on my plate then I don’t and I no longer feel guilty or bad about it and the opposite is true too, if I finish all my food, I trust that that's what I needed.

I prefer home cooked meals but also enjoy going out to eat every now and then to try a new restaurant, get together with friends and to take a break from cooking and doing dishes.

The main factor that influenced my current approach is my experience with disordered eating. In college I experienced bulimia nervosa and some orthorexia in my early/mid twenties. Although I was never actually “diagnosed” with either of theses since I never told anyone or looked for help during this time. I think a lot of it was related to stress, not feeling good enough in general, and being unhappy with my body image as a female, athlete and upcoming fitness professional. Once I moved to San Diego after undergrad I began to practice yoga, breath-work, meditation and more mindful eating. I read the book The Slow Down Diet and incorporated a lot of Marc Davids teachings into my healing. I began to slow down and focus on nourishing my body without fearing gaining weight or worrying about eating the perfect diet. Two other factors that influence my current approach are knowing my genetic blueprint and eating a majority of meals at home growing up because my parents cooked a lot ~ bless their hearts.

I find the question “what do you eat” challenging since I don’t follow a particular diet and I eat so many different foods, I don’t know exactly how to explain it and because I also believe in a more personalized approach, I don’t want people to think that they should eat how I eat but that they need to find what works best for them. I’m still practicing ways to answer this question in a way it can shed light on nutrition being more about our relationship with food, how we eat, and that our thoughts, emotions and beliefs around food and nutrition are just as important as what we are actually eating.

I also feel that social media was a huge influence on my college experience and poor relationship with food and my body. I remember scrolling Instagram back then, before it was nearly as big as it is now, to find myself comparing to girls that competed in bodybuilding. I remember feeling like I needed to look like the competitors on stage in order to be admirable in the fitness industry. I remember thinking that looking like that equated to health and would bring happiness. Over time I realized that bodybuilding can wreck havoc on the body and create an unhealthy relationship with food and it takes a toll emotionally as well, along with other things. I also realized that it's not ideal to walk around looking “stage ready” all the time especially as females because this requires a super low body fat % which can be unhealthy in many ways.

“One day along my journey I stopped putting my worth on numbers. One day having a 6-pack, super low body fat %, and reaching a certain number on the scale stopped being my goals and I can honestly say that since then I've never been happier in my own skin and I could care less if I ever have a 6-pack in this lifetime because that's not health to me.”

I do think these challenges are reflective challenges facing a broader population in society today and even some of the women I work with. We see so many influencers and “health experts” now on social media trying to tell us through the screen how and what we should be eating. Literally trying to tell us how to live and act like they know whats in our best interest. There may be people on social media with good intentions however, many do it for attention and to try to sell supplements or their products, etc. An online survey assessing social media, eating behaviors, and orthorexia concluded that the healthy eating community on Instagram has a high prevalence of orthorexia symptoms, with higher Instagram use being linked to increased symptoms (Turner & Lefevre, 2017).

My experience with multiple diets will help me be able to relate to people who may have different eating patterns with less judgement knowing that we are all different and it may also help me to educate and shed light on why one particular diet may not be the way to go long term or may work for one person but not another. I also think the education i’ve learned in the current grad program i’m in, for example the mindful eating and nourishment course, will contribute greatly in helping others create a healthier relationship with food and learn that what we eat is only a piece of the puzzle.

References:

Brown, J. E. (2020, 2017). Nutrition through the life cycle (7th ed.). Cengage Learning.

Turner, P. G., & Lefevre, C. E. (2017). Instagram use is linked to increased symptoms of orthorexia nervosa. Eating and Weight Disorders - Studies on Anorexia Bulimia and Obesity, 22(2), 277–284. https://doi.org/10.1007/s40519-017-0364-2

Eating Patterns & Preferences ~ A Reflection

Redefining Nutrition: More Than Macros ~ More than Food